In November 2010 my mother and I set about the task of planning my brother’s funeral. We hired a funeral director called Ben, who looked like he had stepped straight off a tractor and into our living room. He had the worst skin I’ve ever seen and fish guts or something smeared over his matching […]Read more "A short tale of inappropriateness.."
A phenotype is, essentially, behaviour that is exhibited by an organism because it has a gene that directs it to behave that way when the circumstances present themselves. For example, a bird building a nest. Birds don’t go around building nests all day, every day, but in the right circumstances the gene for building […]Read more "Backpackers: The Phenotypes. A research paper by Stephen Kain."
In the last few years, as a result of the increasing age of myself and everyone I know, death and grief has increasingly become dinner table talk and has led to me drawing a few conclusions on the topic I’d like to share. Obviously, if you’re looking for something funny to read, this ain’t […]Read more "On Grief"
Finding inspiration can be incredibly difficult sometimes, a real chore. Thankfully, at other times it can fly out of nowhere and slap you square across the face, in much the same way pigeon excrement does any time you stand in any spot in any town in any province in any country in Europe. Today, alas, […]Read more "Perspiration Inspired Inspiration"
About 50 years ago, two New York natives called George and Charlotte Blonsky were visiting the Bronx Zoo when they stumbled upon an idea that, in their minds, would change forever the way that women give birth. While wandering past the elephant enclosure they noticed an elephant in labour was repeatedly turning in concentric […]Read more "The Genius of US Patent No. 321216423"
Strap yourself in peeps. Shit’s about to get real. Real philosophical. I’ve become a real Philisophisimiser. Today’s rant is slightly interactive. At the end of the rant I set you a challenge that, if you are successful, will negate everything that I write below and you’ll receive all the adulation you deserve. You will […]Read more "A Purpose? That’s like a little dolphin, isn’t it?"
I thought I’d devote this post to telling you a bit about myself. The odds are that you already know too much about me but, let’s face it, it’s disgusting egotism that inspires someone to even consider writing a blog so I’m taking this opportunity to talk more about myself. Or more specifically, the name […]Read more "All About Steve"
Backpacker: What’s the weather like today? Me: Sunny. 32 Degrees. Backpacker: All day? Me: No. After 6 billion years the sun is going to burn out around 2pm today.Read more "Tuesday, 8am"
Ladies and gents, it’s time to get serious. Come in a little closer, that’s right, scoot in real close so we can have a serious conversation. Too often we get lost in the ocean of distraction that enshrouds our modern lives, so how about today we all sit down together and discuss something a bit […]Read more "El Mankle"
Not meeting new people is something I am becoming increasingly passionate about. There’s a multitude of reasons, though mostly it’s to do with the inevitable “So.. what do you like to do?” conversation bomb being dropped by a stranger who clearly has nothing better to say. It’s a battle, countering such a line of […]Read more "Fish and Chips"
Well, this is my second post. It’s only my second time, really. Like all great acts with a hit debut I’m a tad nervous my sophomoric effort is going to be a bit of a let down. Mind you, I’m not nearly as nervous as some pregnant African girls must be. You see, having undergone […]Read more "When Birth Comes To Shove"
Occasionally during a relationship you find yourself gazing lovingly at your other half as they are doing something menial, like pottering in the kitchen or reading a book on the train, and you muse over what it is that initially attracted you to them. Why them? Why this particular person, instead of one of […]Read more "He’s a Rocket Man."