El Mankle

Ladies and gents, it’s time to get serious. Come in a little closer, that’s right, scoot in real close so we can have a serious conversation.

Too often we get lost in the ocean of distraction that enshrouds our modern lives, so how about today we all sit down together and discuss something a bit deeper, something a little less frivolous. Perhaps we can even open a respectful dialogue about an issue that’s on all our minds that we don’t always see eye-to-eye on and come together, as one, to make the world a better place. Ready? Let’s begin.

Ankles really shit me.

Stay with me. Now, as far as I can tell,  God* created ankles for one purpose: to provide us an opportunity to say “ooh, good one” whenever a colleague has a really good ankle crack. That’s it. One purpose. In this respect the ankles on men are the opposite of children in that they should be heard, not seen.

This is why I am astounded with the amount of mankle I’ve been visually accosted by recently. There appears to be a trend for young gents to haphazardly roll up the bottom of their trousers and bare their sockless ankles for all the world to enjoy. Some even go so far as to use a piece of rope as a belt, as if they’re planning on going yachting in the south of France or to a really fashionable concentration camp. You know the one. What’s it called? Oh, that’s right. Hipsterschwitz.

This is alarming for two reasons, the first being that man ankles are ugly. I don’t feel the need to labour this point. If you don’t know what I mean just stop reading now. We’re clearly not on the same page, except that we’re both on this page, which is my page, so you best leave.

The second reason is that there is an assumption that we, the public, are going to be bowled over by this display of pseudo-confidence and will immediately stop in our tracks, fall to the ground and admire this fine specimen of GQ-ness. I don’t know how many whippet-looking youngsters I’ve seen lately sauntering along a boulevard with their chicken ankles shining out like headlights but I’ve seen enough to know that I’ve seen enough.

Kids, put ’em away.

And while you’re at it, grow up.

Now, isn’t the world a better place?


*God most likely doesn’t exist. But if he did, he’d be appalled.

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